When I still had my p800 I used to jot down stuff, most of them pointless, hehe. I managed to retrieve some when I changed phones, but now I have nowhere else to put them. This is their orphanage for now, I guess.

***

come on, coax me.

attract me, entice me, convince me that it's going to be alright. tell me that the sun will shine, for both of us.fool me.

l will laugh at your bravery. i will be amused by your noble attempt.

go on. i will believe.

***

i knew what i had to do, since the very beginning. my heart has spoken to me.

but it has spoken many things, just as i know and feel many things. my heart is divided, its oneness challenged by a myriad desires--all true, all noble in honesty, all needing to be fulfilled for the sake of the lone self.

why must the road to peace be so troubled?

ah, but life is perfect. this i know, and all my hearts agree.

and so i dance merrily and sadly to the songs of joy and pain and confusion, knowing well that my spirit will transcend.

***

Movie night

my mind drifts
to you again
and again
within these hours of forgetting
in the dark you persist
in despair i take blame
angered by your trespass

silenced by my shame.

over now
the end begins
all is lostbut chaos
clandestine freedom
and you
only you

in the light i return
outside i breathe you in
and let you fill my head
no use pretendingfrom one dreamworld
to the next
i go
and everywhere
you are there
no happy endings
just you
only you